14/11/03

PAGE 32                                             RUSTENBURG HERALD                         14 NOVEMBER 2003

 Simply Mind‑boggling! 

Amanda Agathagelou and Reinette Lotz are both psychologists in Rustenburg. 

Amanda is in private practice with Jacob Oostenbrink (Oostenbrink & Agathagelou Psychologists) and specializes in Imago Relationship Therapy and Trauma counselling. She is also a member of the SA Board of Business Woman. Amanda regularly performs as guest speaker at functions. 

Reinette specializes in Imago Relationship Therapy, as well as Family Therapy. Reinette was in fulltime private practice for six years and is currently employed by Platinum Health Medical Aid as a clinical psychologist. She runs her private practice on a part‑time basis. 

They were both trained by the American Association of Imago Relationship Therapy. 

"While talking to them it was evident that they had a great passion for their work with a sincere belief that they can empower couples with the tools to enrich their lives and relationships. Those that are in the depth of despair and are considering ending a relationship will never have given their relationship the biggest chance of success until they can understand what relationships are all about. The reasons for despair are the very issues that can make a relationship flourish". 

They mentioned the following: 

So many people are frustrated in their relationships and most people don't understand what the conflict in relationships are all about. They love their partners, but when there is tension they do not know what to do to make things better.  Couples mention that even if life at home

is relatively peaceful, that they have nothing in common anymore, and so they disappointed or angry co­-existence, each with their own interest, in a marriage of convenience, or an arrangement they endure "for the sake of their children".   

Shattered dreams whatever form they take are painful. In fact the pain and conflict of committed relationships arise not out of a lack of love for our partners, but from a misunderstanding of what love relationships are all about. The conflict between couples can be the very fuel for the fulfilment they seek. Our society has institutionalised permission for divorce and our culture has made conflict and incompatibility the grounds for divorce. Yet it is the same incompatibility that makes us perfect for one another to grow. 

It is also true that problems in love relationships influences body functions, as well as psychological processes such as depression. Evidence suggests that marital stress results in psychosomatic symptoms by suppressing the immune system, and it influences psychological stress such as adolescent suicide, high blood pressure etcetera. 

Amanda and Reinette present a couples workshop "Getting the Love You Want" on a regular basis throughout the year. This workshop is for you if you: 

* Want to enrich an existing good relationship; 

* Are in a difficult relationship and you want to resolve conflict; 

* Feel their relationship is on the rocks and they need to make a decision about it; 

* Are starting a new relationship and want it to last;

* Are considering divorce and not sure if it is the right option. 

These workshops offer practical suggestions about how to reduce frustrations and disappointments. to create increasing happiness and intimacy. Couples will learn how to communicate through a process called the Intentional Dialogue, a crucial relationship skill. 

Without the Intentional Dialogue you cannot relate to another person's internal. reality, you can only relate to your version of it. Intentional Dialogue, therefore, is simply conscious communication, that is, communication that clarifies, confirms and develops appreciation, respect for and acceptance of the inner world of others. 

Amanda, Reinette and Jacob also present workshops in companies, one being called Imago in Companies", Consciously Connecting through Dialogue, to help companies understand conflict and to learn them to honour diversity. 

For any further information regarding the above workshops, please call the offices of Oostenbrink & Agathagelou Psychologists at Tel. (014) 594 0187/9 or Amanda on 082 823 3820.